Some say I’m slow to conform (yes, I am still learning how to use my iPhone), and in effort to get with the times, I joined Pinterest.

Finally.

So many friends have told me that Pinterest is THE place to be on the Internet and anybody who’s Somebody is on Pinterest. Well, I want to be Somebody just as much as the next guy, so I navigated my way to this popular hangout and read the introduction:

Join Pinterest to find (and save!) all the things that inspire you. 45 seconds to join. 25+ billion pins to explore.

Now we’re talking! I don’t have a lot of time, so 45 seconds was right up my alley. I even had my choice between using my email to join or my Facebook account. I chose FB, my hands practically clapping together in anticipation of creating a Pinterest page so full of beautiful, intelligent, and witty scenes that it would rival even the most devout Pinterest guru (I’m not mentioning any names, Elizabeth, but you know who you are). And I was only 45 seconds away…

The welcome page pops up and tells me it’s going to take me on a tour of Pinterest. Okay.

Pins are visual bookmarks that people save on Pinterest.

Good to know. Let’s keep going.

Collect recipes, travel ideas…whatever inspires you.

Woohoo. Let’s get to the good stuff.

Each Pin links back to the site it came from.

Okay. I’ve got it.

What are you intesested in?

I don’t know… books?

Now for the fun part…to finish up the tour, find something that interests you.

And BAM! Just like that, the promised 25+ billion Pins to explore pop up.

Are you freaking kidding me? Forty-five seconds to join? Really? Because I think they actually want me to start choosing what I want to Pin from the billions of images now cluttering up my computer screen. Where do I even start?? There are so many!!

So I do what anybody who’s Somebody might do and start Pinning. I choose an image I like, click on it and Pinterest tells me it’s going to link back to Somebody I’ve never heard of before and I don’t know if that’s a cool thing to do or not, so I don’t Pin it and choose something else instead—a book posted by Random House. I’m feeling good about it, because I’m pretty sure Random House won’t mind if I link back to them, and click Pin it.

Pinterest lets me know its going to link back to Random House.

Sure, I’m fine with that. Go ahead and Pin, I click.

Pin it?

Yes, I click. Pin it.

Create a Board?

Um…do I need to create a board? I don’t what the hell a Board is, but I think I’ll create one. Probably, I have to. I’ll name it…YA books. Pin it! I click.

Are you sure you want to Pin this?

Yeah, I’m sure I want to Pin it. Pin it! I click, my finger pressing down harder on the mouse in the hopes Pinterest might understand my urgency to Pin it. And maybe in my impatience I might have clicked something else, because I seemed to go back a few steps…

Do you want to Pin this?

Oh. My. God. YES I WANT TO PIN THIS! CLICK.

Are you sure you want to Pin this?

I think the last time I was asked Are you sure you want to do this? that many times I was about to get married (although in all fairness to my mother, she never once asked). And now Pinterest has got me thinking—do I really want to Pin this?

No, Pinterest, I’m not sure if I want to Pin this anymore. In fact, now I feel like I’m standing on a bridge, about to jump off, and contemplating what awaits me below. Will my jump make me a Somebody? Or will a bunch of other Somebodies get pissed off at me for linking back to their awesome Pins? Because when I Pin Somebody else’s Pin, does it really make it MY Pin? Or am I just riding on the coattails of Somebody else’s Pinterest greatness? I’m scared.

In all honesty, I have a book to write and should’ve been writing it, but I hadn’t really expected my foray into Pinterest to last beyond forty-five seconds much less cause me to start contemplating the value of my life, so with a heavy heart I realized I needed to let go of the Pinterest dream. Get out before anyone knew I went there and tried to be Somebody. I mean, if nobody knew I failed, than it really wasn’t a failure, right?

You have a new follower!

I do?

You follow this person.

Really? How the hell did that happen? I wasn’t clicking anything! I had stopped all clicking and was in the process of climbing down off that bridge.

You have a new follower.

I have another new follower???

You follow this person.

WHAT THE HELL??!

Now I’m not only scared, I’m a little spooked. All those conspiracy theories about the government watching everything we do suddenly don’t seem so far-fetched. And if they can see everything we do…who else can?

Or maybe, because I signed up with Facebook, my FB friends got a notification I was on Pinterest. Which is probably more likely.

So now the word is out—I’m on Pinterest. And apparently my Board isn’t that empty since I logged on this morning and it’s FULL of Somebodies Pins so I don’t look like a loser. Not sure how that happened, but thank you Pinterest for saving my ass 🙂 And thank-you Gina and Rebecca for following me there so I’m not all alone!

Oh, and just a heads up to any new followers—it might take me a while to actually set up some of my own Boards. Now that I know it takes more than forty-five seconds to be a Somebody on Pinterest, I’m going to have to wait until I’m finished writing book three. And you can rest easy about one thing…there will be no Pinterest my in post-apocalyptic world.

Happy Pinning Everyone!